


Not Quite as Good as Pirates

by MickyRC



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Bickering, Brother Francis cannot and should not garden, Fluff, Gen, The Dowling years, Warlock's just up past his bedtime, and Nanny Ashtoreth has feelings on this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:55:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24762715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MickyRC/pseuds/MickyRC
Summary: Warlock's supposed to be asleep by now.  But there's something going on in the back garden, and like any kid, he's gotta investigate.
Relationships: Nanny Ashtoreth & Warlock Dowling & Brother Francis, Nanny Ashtoreth/Brother Francis (Good Omens)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 75
Collections: SOSH - Guess the Author, SOSH - Guess the Author #01 "You started it"





	Not Quite as Good as Pirates

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Soft Omens Discord Server's guess the author game! The prompt was "you started it," and it was so much fun seeing all the different directions it went in. You can read some of the other ones in the collection this is in!

Warlock woke up to a distant crash and a string of curses. Not the fun kind, either. The don’t-say-that-in-front-of-Nanny kind.

He slipped out of bed and went to the window, squirming as his feet hit the cold floor. It was very late, or maybe very very early, but the moon was bright enough to show Warlock the back garden in a shadowy glow. He peered around, scanning the massive lawn for whoever the intruder was, gleeful at the chance to investigate whatever mysterious happenings were happening in his own yard.

A flash of moonlight on metal caught his eye, and he reached for his telescope, the little handheld one with pirate skulls all over the plastic. Warlock gasped. Somebody was down in the flowerbeds. Somebody was burying something in  _ his garden. _ That could only mean one of two things: pirates, or robbers.

He yanked his dressing gown off a hook and ran downstairs.

When Warlock got out onto the back deck, he was immediately and devastatingly disappointed. From here, he could see the moon shining on the intruder’s very distinctive, very red hair. All that excitement, and it turned out to just be Nanny. Warlock pouted to himself, tucked behind a planter to hide.

But as he was getting ready to head back inside, he heard somebody else coming onto the lawn. It was Brother Francis, storming across the lawn, glaring at Nanny like she really  _ was _ a robber there to bury a body.

“Crowley!” he hissed as he approached, managing to shout in a whisper.

Nanny whirled around, and Warlock dove back behind the planter. That wasn’t Nanny’s I-told-you-not-to-and-you-did look. That wasn’t even the I’m-taking-a-deep-breath-and-then-we’re-going-to-have-a-very-long-talk-about-what-you-just-did look. Nanny looked ready for a  _ fight. _

_ “You.” _ Nanny jabbed a finger at Brother Francis. Warlock winced. Brother Francis didn’t flinch.

The gardener just pointed right back at her. “What on  _ earth _ are you doing?”

Nanny looked aghast. “What am—what am I doing? What am  _ I _ doing?!?  _ Look at these roses!” _

“Crowley, you’re going to make a scene!”

“These flowerbeds are a scene!"

“It is three o’clock in the  _ blessed _ morning! You’re going to wake someone up!”

Warlock sighed in disappointment. All that, and it wasn’t even a new argument. He’d heard this one before on afternoon walks through the gardens, and, once, shouted over a picnic. It was funny, usually. But not worth being out of bed in bare feet for.

He slipped inside, upstairs, into bed. No pirate adventure or murder mystery for him. Just Nanny and the gardener out arguing in whispers on the moonlit lawn. It wasn’t worrying. They were just like that, always bickering with each other. Warlock was pretty sure it was how they said “I love you.” After all, to be able to fight like that, and then bounce back and be friends so easily, they really had to care about each other.

He fell asleep to muffled shouts of “you started it!” drifting through the window, and dreamt of Nanny and Francis fighting off pirates together.

**Author's Note:**

> you can come yell with me on tumblr [over here](https://one-with-the-floor.tumblr.com/) if ya want!


End file.
